Reflections since 2016

I am so hard on myself all the time for all the things I get wrong or wish I had done but haven’t, that I often forget all the things I have achieved and learnt about myself over since the day I left my husband.

So here is a compilation of things – more for me to realise how far I have come than anything else, but maybe a few things will inspire you too.

• I visited Bali for my mum’s 60th birthday with family – this was one of the most beautiful and amazing places I have ever been. It was so incredible and I totally fell in love with it
• I spent 3 nights / 5 days on my own in Singapore and loved it – well apart from when I bumped into my parents conveniently at Raffles for a Singapore Sling.
• I moved out into the most awful little terraced house near my work so that I could have my own space – sharing with a student when she was back from university would trash the place and leave it like a hurricane had passed through
• I finally jumped off the Stratosphere in Las Vegas – and it was the most exhilerating thing I have ever done. I say finally as I have been wanting to do it every trip and managed it on my third visit
• I had my first Christmas alone – and I don’t mean alone and single. I mean I stayed away from family and did something I have always wanted to do and volunteered and spent christmas day with the salvation army. one of the most exhausting but fulfilling things I have ever done
• I broke my arm – okay so this was a drunk accident… it did teach me how to cope on my own and do things one handed – thank god it wasn’t my dominant hand! But for 6 long weeks I had a cast and I will never ever take showering and having two hands to use to untangle my curls for granted again! This also made me realise how convince things like chopped up onions and other veggies are a lifesaver and not for lazy people!
• I visited my friends to Toronto and took a trip to Niagara Falls – it was amazing to see my friends who moved to Canada a few years ago in Toronto, and to be in Canada again – the last time I had been 16! We had the most amazing time, we went to a beautiful spa, saw the city of Toronto a lot, went to the baseball, took a trip to Niagara Falls – even did a cycling tour of wineries in the area – ouch bikes are hard on the legs!! It was the first time I had ever flown long haul on my own! I was terrified but the Canadian Club whisky sure did help settle the nerves – and provided a new whisky for me to love.
• I moved into my own flat with my kitties – I have been in the flat now for almost two years, it is perfect for us. Its not the biggest of places, but it’s exactly what I need to call home. Its in the city centre, it has a lovely homely feel to it and my babies are with me every day – and yes I am a crazy cat lady, but you know what I own it.
• I went to Edmonton, Calgary and the Rockies – this time I went to Canada and I visited family! It was amazing, and I did things I never thought I would do! I went down the luge at Calgary Park twice in a kart (and didn’t crash!), I went in a bobsleigh – omg this was amazing and I definitely want to do it again! I went horse riding in the mountains, I went white water rafting – okay I nearly drowned getting stuck under someone when we tipped over, but I lived to tell the tale. I fell in love with hiking in the mountains at Lake Louise and decided I wanted to call Canada my home.
• I went to Paris in December – I have always wanted to see Paris in December and I finally took a trip there to see it for 24 hours, all festive and beautiful. There really is no better place than Paris.
• I got my first tattoo – I had considered this tattoo for years and years before one Saturday I finally had the courage to go and get it. It happened randomly when I saw a post that had availability that day, and I just went for it and have loved it ever since. And now a little piece of Paris is with me everywhere I go.
• I went to Paris in June too – a reunion with old school friends. It was so nice to meet up with old friends and reconnect. We visited the sights, went to the museum of archaeology and many of the beautiful churches, at lots of amazing French food and also visited Disneyland Paris for my birthday. The best thing, I now have a new travel buddy and bff again – D and we have had so many fun adventures together since…
• I visited Amsterdam –  with D. We did so many fun things – not to mention nearly missed the Eurostar because we accidentally drank too much the night before having just popped out to dinner… and ended up drinking until 3 am when we had our train at 7am… oops… we arrived to a cheese tour with beer where we met some lovely American tourists, we went on a boat dinner cruise, we went to the main sights, saw a sex show, drank a lot of beer, and ate so much chips and mayo. Mmmmmm.
• I visited Budapest – this was such a lovely city. I really loved walking around and seeing the spas and enjoying drinks by the Danube. The sunsets were always beautiful and the ruin bars were great to hang out in – its just a shame it was soooo cold!!
• I visited Copenhagen – with D. Oh my goodness I fell in love with Copenhagen, the people, the views, the food. It was amazing. We went before Christmas and the Christmas markets were amazing – the only downside, the stomach bug that made one of our days a write-off so we couldn’t explore the city as much as we liked, but I will be back.
• I decided to learn a new skill when my job ended – and am working towards a teaching qualification. Its to teach English as a Foreign Language and something I feel passion for… I really hope that I can complete the course and get a job which will provide me with a new start.
• I showed my family my happy place – they have always wanted to know what all the fuss was about with Paris, so we arranged a trip to Paris and I got to show them all the sights and tick a few more things off the bucket list, like Le Chat Noir and visiting inside the Sacre-Coeur. I always try and tick off at list one more bar, restaurant or fully explored landmark each trip.
• I dated – and wow hasn’t that been an adventure… so many interesting tales from that I could write a book – but maybe I will put some of them to blog posts first! My friends have had many giggles over my dating stories over the last 18 months or so… perhaps you will too.

And most importantly… I became comfortable with who I am. I know its not ever going to go away that I will disappoint people, that I will do things wrong, or not be what is expected of me, but I am good with this. I want to do me my way. I want to live in the moment, I want to make myself feel alive… I really want to put myself first at all times. I realised it is not necessary to have a relationship with anyone but me. I make myself happy and anyone else is just a piece of my story – be it short or long term… I used to think being single and alone was the worst thing ever, but I love me and I won’t settle again.