Ooops… I did it again!

Ever wish you could just stop being an over thinker? That you could just totally let go and just go with the moment and not have that little voice in your head which makes you question everything…

It can be the simplest of things, it doesn’t have to be complicated… but all of a sudden it’s all-consuming. I am the absolute worst at over thinking, I am the worst at taking things at face value and genuinely believing people are being truthful to me.

I don’t even know how to break the cycle – its how I have always been!

It kills me, the amount of times I can sabotage myself, a situation or even a potential relationship or friendship. And sometimes I know I am doing it and other times I have no clue until it’s too late.

It causes a lack of sleep, it makes me paranoid – I can sit and be the happiest person to the world and inside not believing what is happening, or what is being said to me. I just think its something or someone messing with my head… and its the over thinking which causes my anxiety to rocket.

I push myself so hard on  a daily basis to be the best me I can. To be successful, to reach the top of everything, to literally never stop. I don’t like to feel weak, I don’t like to ask for help, I am one of the most stubborn people in the world. I just want to give my brain a rest, to be able to take things at face value to be able to believe what someone says is the truth.

I know it’s not easy, so many things in the past have aided me to be even worse as the years have gone by, but I know that inside I just want to be happy, I want to believe and I want to find that happiness inside, so that I can live a truly happy life with people who matter and just trust the moment.

It’s time to do some research. I need to find ways to stop my mind in its tracks. I want to get over this. I want to be free from my head and the constant over analysing and the heartbreak and destruction it can bring.

I want my mind to be free.

xx